What We Learnt When Our Kölsch Waiter Broke The Internet
At the time of writing, we have three pinned posts on TikTok totalling over 2.7 million views. Despite being a travel publication, all three are about the same small German city, Cologne, specifically, the city’s iconic beer; kölsch.
With over 2.5 million views, our original video of an angry kölcsh waiter (called köbes) berating Benny for saying ‘Wunderbar’ sparked a conversation that led to discussions of German rudeness, tipping, traditional biers and the cult that surrounds this easy going but somehow controversial beer.
So how on earth did this video go viral? Let’s look at the most influential comments to gain insight into how this easy going beer ignited the internet (and helped us smash our monthly engagement goals!)
The Waiter Both Was/Wasn’t Rude
Before I arrived in Cologne (locally, Köln), I was warned by an Amsterdam bar keep the köbes are efficient but known for being rude and standoffish. Apparently, it’s part of the act which for me comes off being a bitter of a Karen’s Diner style gimmick.
Upon viewing Benny’s alleged vilification at the hands of the Pafgen köbe, many commenters both German and otherwise, jumped in to say the man was rude. Interestingly, some Germans dropped in to say the köbe wasn’t rude as he was informing us of an alleged cultural faux pax.
You see, as the waiter berated Benny, he was at least giving him the correct info/the time of day.
To some, this whole ‘angry man’ act is part of the experience which was brought upon us to teach us a lesson about German culture. However, this led to another disccusion.
German’s Do In Fact, Say Wunderbar
Yes, some people have our backs.
Apart from when they’re in my way at Circular Quay, we’ve never yelled at a tourist in our own country (even then it was only a playful ‘oi!’). Not only did our köbe waiter do this, but he did so while yelling factually incorrect information. Yes, he was so wrong about Wunderbar.
In the comments and some private surveying Benny did (asking Wolfgang) we found that German’s do in fact say Wunderbar. Like dated but still beloved Australian slang such as ‘crikey’, ‘fair dinkum’ and ‘bonza’, Wunderbar is a unique German colloquialism that some find cringe but many and more use with a mild, a slightly ironic, appreciative expression of their culture.
Additionally, man of the comments on our angry waiter videos confirm, what the köbe is saying is simply not true. Wunderbar is alive and well in Deutschland.
In Regards To Tipping
The traditionally rude and indifferent Köbe style of service is not the type of hospitality you’d be imagine is angling for a tip. And that’s exactly what the internet thought.
An uninformed opinion.
However, when you watch our episode in Cologne, at Pafgen Brauhaus (home of the False Wunderbar Tirade) the waiter gets very mad regarding Katie wanting to pay him in exact change and proclaims ‘they live off the tips’. When I asked how the tipping worked he said it depends on you and due to the change I had, he more or less conned me out of five euros. I say conned me because when I did research later it turns out you’re just supposed to round up to the nearest Euro. Once again, this köbe was full of shit!
Yes, he in no way acted like he needed a geographically ambiguous German tip by insulting us but somehow expected one as part of the experience! He wanted us to pay extra to get yelled at! Surely our audience has noticed a disconnect here.
And yet, it’s the beer that might have got the harshest critique over all…
Kölsch is Controversial Enough Already
We call this köntraversey.
Mildy flavoured and incredibly easy going, kölsh is slightly controversial in the rest of Germany as it’s seen as a ‘half-beer’. It lacks the impact (and serving size) of a Bavarian lager, the flavour of a pilsner and the wow-factor of modern brews. As an old traditional style of beer, there have been centuries of geographically based kölsch-slagging brewing, much in the way you might think of traditional soccer rivalries. Even an older Cologne local refused to believe me when I said I had come to Köln specifically to drink kölsch for a few days.
For these reason, some German’s look at kölsch like Aussies looking at XXXX; light stuff with cruel nicknames, drink it if you’re in the region only.
As always on the internet, haters breath life into defenders. Cologne locals and kölsch lovers came out in droves in the comments section to defend this humble and often overlooked beer.
Another big reason kölsch is so frowned upon is that 20 minutes down the Rhine, another ancient beer is brewed for serving in small glasses; the Altbier of Dusseldorf.
Loving A Rivalry
Us with our finger on the pulse.
Just look at that above conversation, one of our single favourite discussions we’ve encouraged on social media. Yes, altbier is flavourful where kölsh is mild. The differences of the beer combined with the proximity and history of these two cities, reveal that in a broader sense, geographical culture wars can be a light-hearted bonding that promotes cultural differences between the two cities. By arguing over small details we remember how much we ultimately have in common. Ideally, what we have in common is compassion and dedication rather than a consensus of what alcoholic drink is best.
All things considered, it feels as if the Planned vs Rogue team has stumbled upon the German version of a ‘what is a sausage snag/potato scallop called’ style debate (Rolling Stones vs Beatles for non-Aussies). This is exactly the sort of interesting point of cultural contention we feel privileged to explore while sharing our experiences travelling. Our kölsh videos stands as proof as to why sharing your misadventures makes a valuable contribution to the world of travel blogging and what it reveals about the humans that make up a world. Or a brauhaus.
